Menopause Humor
Pretty bad when this how you spend your dinner hour…
Spam ’n politics
Spam ’n politics – your ol’ political hack is back. Couldn’t tear myself away from the Florida debate so it was spam ’n politics for me tonight. How’d the spam get in there? We’ll have to go back to the grocery store for that.
I was strolling down the aisles looking for something good – and easy to cook – to toss into my cart when a bright blue can festooned with a deep pink – uh, no, it was a spam-burger, that’s what it was, trying to look enticing beneath the bright yellow letters SPAM®. It did look enticing. For whatever reason… Memories, maybe. The blue can, maybe.
Anyway it ended up in my cart and tonight its contents ended up in the fry pan. Boy! Was that a struggle! The SPAM® didn’t want to come out of the can. The can has that pop top that makes it so easy to open – you’ve seen it. That’s good. But from there, it was a true battle between me and the rubbery pink meat. I wanted it out. It wanted it in. I circled it – well, I should say I “rectangulared” it – with a knife, trying to loosen it up enough to shake it out of the can. You know how the Spam-shaped can is – it refuses to go circular. Which means that when in desperation, and sweating from my efforts to loosen the meat from the can, I turned the can upside down and slipped it under the teeth of the electric can opener, nothing good happened. Electric can openers are programmed for circular cans. No way was it going to touch a misshapen can.
I went back to shaking the can and just when I was about to give up… it moved enough for me to grasp the slippery pink meat between my fingers and pull it out of its metal house. Yay! I beat the SPAM®!
When I was a kid, we always had macaroni and cheese with our SPAM® but I had to forego that pleasure tonight. No macaroni in sight, so it was scrambled eggs ’n SPAM® with toast and strawberry jam.
So what’s with the politics? Well, what better way to enjoy a delicious dinner than to take a seat at the latest political debate? I was kind’a late – got in front of the TV in time for the last question of the night, but no problem. I enjoyed my home-cooked meal while the men in black suits and red and blue ties spewed forth their marvelous answers.
And then the debate was over. Not quite. It was as over as the debates ever are. The good part was about to begin. While I digested my dinner, the pundits digested the finer – and the not-finer – points of the debate. The toughest part was when they showed a clip from the debate and then quickly cut back to themselves. “Wait! I want to see what they said next!” Lot of good it did me. Guess they couldn’t hear me.
Sounds like it was a pretty good debate, though. Lots of sparks flying and two calm people standing on either end of the Gingrich-Romney firestorm. If you didn’t see it, those two went at each other and Romney gave up his calm, well-oiled manner to fight back when he was attacked. Gingrich held his own, so it was a pretty good fight. Rick Santorum and Ron Paul, the calm bookends, lent an air of seriousness to the event and addressed the issues in their strongly passionate voices of reason. Depending on your politics -
Yep. It was a good debate. My SPAM® ’n eggs are well-digested; the pundits are still pundit-ing and you may laugh at me for eating SPAM®, but I’ll say one thing. If you want a long-lasting candidate that can last all the way until the Republican convention, my bet’s on the pink meat in the can.
Text me 619.997.5679 or send e-mail, sbuska@cox.net,
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